It is an unfortunate fact that a happy marriage is more of a fantasy today than a reality. This has led to a soaring divorce rate. One of the main reasons for the lack of success in maintaining a mutually beneficial, happy union is that people commit to wed with unreasonable expectations of one another, [...]

It is an unfortunate fact that a happy marriage is more of a fantasy today than a reality. This has led to a soaring divorce rate. One of the main reasons for the lack of success in maintaining a mutually beneficial, happy union is that people commit to wed with unreasonable expectations of one another, themselves and the institution of marriage. However, if couples approached marriage with their eyes open, so to speak, they would be better equipped to make the important decisions upon which such a commitment is based.

Here are some misconceptions about marriage and the more realistic truths to consider:

Misconception: Marriage means not feeling lonely anymore.
Truth: There is no worse loneliness than that felt when in a marriage with the wrong person. Many married people feel this loneliness because of miscommunication, a partner that fulfils his or her secular obligations during the evenings and on weekends, a spouse that has trouble opening up, or when there is not a sense of trust.

Misconception: You are not complete until you are married.
Truth: This is a complete fallacy and is misleading for those that feel that there is a void in their life. These ones will assume that it is the lack of a marriage mate, when it could really be the wrong career, a need for a faith system, or even a hobby.

Misconception: Everyone should eventually get married.
Truth: In fact, marriage simply is not for everyone. Being single is not a crime and is not even abnormal in modern times. Being single affords you independence and flexibility beyond what marriage can usually afford and, if this is very important to you, you may not be suited to having any sort of constant in your life, including a permanent mate.

Misconception: A good marriage means plenty of romance.
Truth: Remember that love is more important than romance. The stresses of daily living can damper romantic feelings or efforts significantly. While romance is important, it is the love that is the basis of a happy marriage. Another important point is that all marriages experience ups and downs and there will be times when romance is more evident and times when it is not.

Misconception: Marriage will cure your feelings of unhappiness.
Truth: Unhappiness is a personal state of mind, not one that can be changed by someone else. You have to know yourself and be happy with what you are before you can expect to extend your happiness to include another person. You also cannot expect to find happiness in one other person. That is unrealistic. If you are truly unhappy, explore your friends, hobbies, passions and desires.

Misconception: You should not have to ask for things from your spouse, they should know you need or want them.
Truth: No one can read your mind, even if they know you better than anyone else. A marriage is a very special type of relationship; one that needs work and nurturing for it to flourish. Rather than having unrealistic expectations, take the time to explain (more than once, if necessary) what you need and want, and reward your spouse for working towards giving you that.

Misconception: Fighting means your marriage is not working.
Truth: Every marriage has some degree of conflict and disagreement. This is absolutely normal. In fact, an argument is a good time to vent concerns and resolve issues, and can be instrumental in changing things with which you or your spouse are unhappy. Of course, excessive fighting is exhausting and unhealthy, and needs to be stopped. If you find that you cannot resolve issues, consider talking to a counsellor, who may act as a mediator.

Photo Courtesy of The Telegraph