There are not many engaged individuals, whether male or female, who have not stopped for a moment and asked themselves if they are absolutely sure about marrying the person to whom they are engaged. But, how can we really know if we are committing our lives to the right one? There is no absolute guarantee, [...]

There are not many engaged individuals, whether male or female, who have not stopped for a moment and asked themselves if they are absolutely sure about marrying the person to whom they are engaged. But, how can we really know if we are committing our lives to the right one? There is no absolute guarantee, of course, but there are some qualities that we can look for to identify whether he or she really is the one.

The right person will have the following important qualities and predisposition (clearly, everyone has a unique personality, but these traits should be displayed as far as possible):

• No dangerous addictions (such as alcohol or drugs). Obviously, you do not want to condemn someone with these problems. You may even want to help them in a reasonable way. But, you do not want to put your physical, social or mental safety and health into the hands of someone that is not always in control of themselves.
• He or she should be conscientious when it comes to the management and production of money. They should share your financial priorities and goals.
• If your partner has been unfaithful to you in the past and the matter was not completely resolved (so that both of you are able to trust one another and forgive completely), then this is not the person you should be marrying. At the very least, not yet.
• Honesty is paramount, especially in matters regarding the heart and relationship.
• They should show absolutely no signs of cruelty (to you, children, acquaintances, animals or friends).
• Free of destructive tendencies.
• Reasonable.
• Makes you feel understood and encouraged about your personal growth and development in any part of your life, health, career, religious affiliation, and so on.
• He or she does not consistently or purposefully embarrass you in front of others.
• They genuinely want the best for you.
• Kindness.
• They make you feel good about yourself and the situation, confident and safe.
• He or she understands your wants and needs in terms of sex and intimacy, and is happy to give that to you, within reason.
• Their love is shown to you both in words and in actions.
• They listen to you when you speak and really respect, even seek out, your opinions.
• They are your best friend.
• They are polite to you in public and private.
• They do not treat you as being inferior to themselves.
• Patience.
• Your conversations together are not boring or tense.
• They are willing to talk to you candidly about problems or issues in your relationship with the goal of sorting them out, not winning an argument.
• They talk to you about the marriage.
• They share chores and other responsibilities around the home.
• They are confident in your ability, as a couple, to sort things out. They do not give up on the relationship.
• He or she does not make you nervous to talk or act in a specific way.
• You feel relaxed when you are around them.
• There is a definite mutual trust.